I never truly saw myself
but
I saw you before you even saw me
you were not my typical type
yet you were beautiful
eager, bright eyed and bushy beard.
I clenched my clutch to kick my faltering confidence into high gear.
Shoulders back
and I headed towards you.
I could turn off my transparency for a few hours,
I think.
On the outside I was a fierce unattainable predator,
but a malleable dandelion on the inside.
Hell, you didnt have to know…
guards up.
I approach you,
you turn around,
fuck.
I’m in trouble.
You see me.
You imprinted on me;
am I really that beautiful?
I never felt it before…
You’re brushing past every insecurity
and beelining straight to my heart,
fuck!
What happened to those fucking guards?
Were they not that sturdy before?
Damn barricade was held together with elmers glue and a prayer,
Focus.
Relax.
Oh shit, whats happening?
I need that to survive,
and you’re coming straight to capture it.
This is different,
I want to hand it over to you;
why?
I’ve handed it over before,
with my feet planted firmly,
with my fingers crossed behind my back,
and on conditions…
but this time is different,
why?
Oh shit…
Am I moving?
Am I running towards you?
There’s no contingency plan?
I want you to have it,
you’ll protect it like its yours…
I can feel it; it’s certain,
fuck.
You’re running,
I can feel you!
As I move my feet towards your body,
I can hear your heart beating,
its rapid, strong, and unguarded.
We meet.
I’m searching your eyes
and I only see one thing,
I see myself for the first time.
Am I that fucking beautiful?
Tiffany.Nicole